Finding out you are pregnant when you were not expecting it can bring a lot of questions at once. You may be wondering what you are going to do, whether you should tell anyone, what options are available to you, or even what you are feeling about the pregnancy. An unexpected pregnancy can create uncertainty even if you are normally confident handling difficult situations.
You may also be keeping the pregnancy completely private right now. You might not have told your partner, your parents, your friends, or anyone else. That is important to recognize because support does not have to begin with telling everyone in your life what is happening. It can begin much more quietly, with accurate information and one safe, confidential place to ask questions.
Here is what meaningful support during an unexpected pregnancy can actually look like.
Support Looks Like Having Someone Who Will Listen
When you first learn you are pregnant, you may not be ready to make a decision or even talk about the pregnancy with someone you know. You may simply need time to process what has happened and decide who, if anyone, you feel comfortable telling.
When you are ready to talk, it can help to choose someone who will listen without immediately trying to solve the situation for you. A supportive conversation gives you room to say what you are thinking, ask questions, and work through emotions that may still be difficult to identify.
That person could eventually be your partner, a close friend, a family member, a counselor, a healthcare professional, or someone trained to provide pregnancy support. You get to decide who you are comfortable involving. You may also choose different people for different needs. Someone you trust emotionally may not be the person you turn to for medical information, and that is okay.
Support Looks Like Getting Accurate Information
When you are worried about an unexpected pregnancy, searching online can quickly become overwhelming. Different websites, social media posts, personal stories, and online forums can provide conflicting information, leaving you with more questions than when you started.
Reliable medical information can help you understand what is actually happening with your pregnancy. A positive pregnancy test is an important first step, but the test alone cannot tell you everything you may need to know. Depending on your circumstances and medical eligibility, an ultrasound may provide additional information about where the pregnancy is located, approximately how far along you are, and whether the pregnancy appears to be developing.
At Anchor of Hope, licensed medical professionals provide pregnancy testing at no cost. For eligible patients, limited obstetrical ultrasound is also available to determine pregnancy placement, viability, and estimated gestational age.
Receiving this information does not commit you to a particular pregnancy decision. It gives you additional information about your pregnancy so you can better understand your circumstances and the questions you may want to ask next.
Support Looks Like Understanding All of Your Pregnancy Options
If your pregnancy was unexpected, you may be considering abortion, adoption, or parenting. You may already be leaning toward one of these options, or you may have no idea what you want to do.
Support should give you the opportunity to learn about each option and ask questions without assuming you have already made a decision. The American Association of Pro-Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists (AAPLOG) emphasizes informed consent and the importance of patients receiving information about available options and their potential outcomes when making healthcare decisions.
If you are considering abortion, you may have questions about the types of abortion, how gestational age affects what procedures may be available, what to expect during and after an abortion, and potential risks or side effects.
If you are considering adoption, you may want to understand how the adoption process works, what open and closed adoption can look like, whether you can select an adoptive family, and what rights and responsibilities you have during the process.
If you are considering parenting, you may want to know what resources could help with prenatal care, finances, housing, education, employment, childcare, parenting education, or baby supplies.
Each option comes with its own questions and considerations. You deserve the opportunity to ask about all three and receive clear information before determining what is right for you.
Support Looks Like Having Space to Think
Once you know you are pregnant, it can feel as though you should immediately know what you want to do. In reality, you may need time to process the pregnancy itself before you are ready to think seriously about a decision.
You may not have told anyone yet, which means the pressure you are feeling may be coming primarily from within. You might be thinking about how a partner could react, what your family might say, how your plans could change, or what each pregnancy option could mean for your future. Those concerns can feel very real even before you have shared the pregnancy with another person.
If and when you choose to tell someone, their perspective may become another part of what you are processing. A supportive person can help you think through your questions without making the conversation about what they would do in your situation.
Good support gives you room to gather information, identify your concerns, ask questions, and think carefully about what matters to you. You do not have to pretend that the decision is simple, and you should not feel embarrassed because you need time to work through it.
Support Looks Like Practical Help
Sometimes the biggest questions surrounding an unexpected pregnancy are practical ones. You may be wondering what healthcare you need right now, whether you can afford your options, how a pregnancy could affect school or work, or where you can find trustworthy information about resources in your community.
What practical support looks like will depend on the path you are considering. Someone exploring abortion may need accurate medical information and help understanding what services are available. Someone considering adoption may need information about adoption agencies, legal considerations, and the different types of adoption plans. Someone considering parenting may have questions about prenatal care, insurance, housing, childcare, parenting education, financial assistance, or material resources.
Practical support is not about assuming which option you will choose. It is about helping you identify the questions and obstacles that matter in your particular situation and connecting you with appropriate information and resources.
Support Can Include Your Partner, But It Does Not Have To
You may be wondering whether or when to tell your partner about the pregnancy. There is no reason to assume that conversation has already happened.
If you decide to involve your partner, you may want him to come to an appointment, learn more about the pregnancy, or be part of conversations about what comes next. You may also decide that you are not ready to involve him yet or that you would rather attend your first appointment by yourself.
The same is true of parents, friends, and other people in your life. You do not have to build a large support system overnight. Sometimes support begins with finding one place where you can talk privately before deciding who else you want to involve.
At Anchor of Hope, you may bring a parent, friend, partner, or another support person to your appointment if you would like someone there. You can also come on your own. According to Anchor of Hope’s patient information, appointments are confidential except in circumstances where disclosure is required by law.
What Support Looks Like at Anchor of Hope
At Anchor of Hope, you do not have to arrive knowing what you want to do. You can make an appointment because you need to confirm your pregnancy, because you have medical questions, because you want to learn about your options, or simply because you need a confidential place to begin figuring out what comes next.
Anchor of Hope provides no-cost pregnancy and sexual health services through licensed medical professionals. Services include pregnancy testing, limited obstetrical ultrasound for eligible patients, pregnancy options information, abortion information consultations, STI testing, and additional sexual healthcare services.
The goal is to give you an opportunity to ask questions and receive information that can help you better understand your pregnancy, your health, and your options. You can come by yourself or bring someone you trust, and services are provided at no cost.
We Are Here When You Are Ready
You may not be ready to tell the people in your life about your pregnancy. You may not know which option you are considering. You may not even know what questions you need to ask yet.
You do not have to figure all of that out before reaching out.
If you are facing an unexpected pregnancy, Anchor of Hope can provide a confidential place to begin. Come with your questions, bring someone you trust if you want to, or schedule an appointment on your own. The first step can simply be getting the information you need to better understand what comes next.
Call or text: (920) 452-4673
Email: hope@anchorofhopewi.org
Book a free appointment online
Need help after hours? Call or text: 800-712-4357
Sheboygan:
1018 S. Taylor Drive
Sheboygan, WI 53081
Plymouth:
515 E. Mill Street, Door B
Plymouth, WI 53073
You deserve accurate information, compassionate care, and people who will listen while you figure out what comes next.
This blog is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please seek in-person professional medical care for questions or concerns related to your health or pregnancy. Anchor of Hope does not perform or refer for abortions.
